Clarity in the Bawth

Home again because of the bleh. So so very tired of the bleh. Everytime I think I am turning a corner, I find myself right back feeling sick again. What a pain. At least this time, I think it's passing. Not getting any worse.
Decided to soak a while and just dissolve into the bubbles. Hot water, bubbles and bubbles, candle and a slight gentle wind billowing the curtains. Gave me a chance to clear my mind. I realized I am not living the life I want. (duh, kinda the purpose of this blog...)I know what to do, have all the necessary accoutrements, .....you know the drill. I gave advice to my friend last night because she was upset about "falling off the wagon". It was great advice, and as I read over it, a troll popped out with "Hey dumbass, why aren't you following your own advice?" THIS is what floated around in my head while in the bawth.
Tomorrow, I have time on my hands. Time to prepare food and work out. Unless I get a fever and need to be hospitalized, I am going forth from here. Since nothing is holding me back but me, I am getting out of my way.
BTW~met my first goal;) Chest before belly.

me vs. the Trolls

I blinked and September ended! Wow. Amazing. Have had an awful time dealing with the Trolls. You know, those little monsters in your head telling you how you're not good enough, you'll never be able to do that, why try? Constantly comparing yourself to everyone else and you just never measure up. Whew....they have been entangled in my head and have had a deeelightful romp. Until last night. I decided to get 'em gone! How? Simply by doing something.

They couldn't keep up on the walk in the moonlight last night. I could feel myself get lighter and lighter with each step. Then I pampered myself a bit and got my gear ready for today. I decided that no matter how bad they had me, I would look my best. In the words of the great Fernando, "It is better to look good than to feel good." Read a bit and went to bed early. AHHHHHH No Trolls.

Felt much better this morning. Like a totally different person. Handled the day much better and sent the Trolls packing.

As October is here, I am setting some goals and checking in here to update them~

1. When walking into a wall, my chest will hit it before my stomach.

2. I will do something active each day.

3. I will make a conscious effort to make healthy choices to get myself well.

4. I will do something outrageously fun that I would usually put off.

Four goals, 12 weeks, let's see what happens.