Day Two

"Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go."
T.S. Eliot


So true.

Everytime I think I've done all I can, and that I've gone as far as I can go, I reach down a bit further and see what I've got left. It is such a great feeling to trump what you considered your limit. Fear becomes such a comforting place to stay. And the more you hesitate, the harder it is to take chances. I don't want to look back anymore and have all of the missed opportunities staring back at me. I have witnessed a life wasted by this very thing. It was profoundly sad to realize that fear of taking risks ended in a life full of regret and emptiness. I don't want to be like that person.

I got on that elliptical trainer tonight after a verrry long day. I wasn't well rested this morning, had a little headache. Just chalked it up to lack of sleep and sinus stuff. By the afternoon, it had turned into a raging beast. I realized it was caffeine withdrawal. I associate caffeine withdrawal to gamma radiation exposure. As in you-don't-want-to-see-me-angry-I-will-scoop-out-your-intestines-with-a-spoon. Took quite a bit to tame the beast, but I got it back in its cage. Lots of meetings and then home for a bit before heading to my daughter's Open House. Before even thinking about what I was doing, I ate a bowl of cereal for dinner (healthy stuff, of course). I usually work out before I eat because I don't want to see my dinner later in another form. I was tired, I was in need of relaxation (read~tv, couch), waaaaaa, waaaaaa,waaaaa.....

I worked out anyway. And when I got to the end of my workout I was on top of the world. I pushed myself beyond the limits my mind had set.

And here I am. Relaxing. Praying for an empty head and no crickets tonight. Regardless, I made it through another day.